Who benefits from poor roads???

Poor roads benefit auto repair shops that get additional work from broken car suspension parts. Potholes also provides children with the equivalent of a wild-mouse ride without the problem of getting to Dorney Park.

POTHOLES SELL TIRES AND WHEELS!

“Potholes are especially effective at night when it’s hard to see them” said Eddie Domehead who pointed out that he can often substitute a used wheel and tire that he gets from a junkyard for a new one. “That’s a real profit center for me” said Eddie as he painted the rim of an old wheel with an $0.89 can of black spray paint. “For a few bucks to a junkyard I can get $75 from a dumb driver who don’t know what a wheel really costs.” Eddie isn’t the only Schuykill County resident who  makes some quick pothole bucks. Marty Birtwhistle from Timakua told EZ News that he collects $100 per car from Eddie when he drops off a car with a ruined wheel or two. “No one knows how we just charge and charge for repairs because of potholes. Sometimes we go out late t night and dig up a few potholes just to stimulate business.”

Marty told EZ News how he uses an old pickaxe to life up some macadam to create a deep pothole close to home to avoid long trips in his wrecker. “I dig a hole inside a curve then just push the chips off the road so drivers can’t see the new pothole I’ve made, otherwise they will purposely try to avoid the pothole so they don’t damage their car. By making a pothole on a curve a driver can’t see it soon enough so he’ll just drop into the hole and BOOM!. Flat tire, dented wheel. Car needs a tow plus another tire and wheel.” Sidney Gruken said she makes a few bucks collecting the hubcaps that fly off when a car hits one of Marty’s potholes. “I just pick ’em up and take ’em to Marty’s garage so he can sell them back to the owner. “I can cover my drug costs for an entire week with just a few hubcaps” said Sydney who thought she was helping out by getting the hubcaps.

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