Tourists sightseeing near the White House at the time reported seeing Biden frantically shuffling away from the pursuing Secret Service agent, determined to not follow the orders to spit out the battery. “He looked like he was being very naughty,” said one onlooker. “I think I even heard the Secret Service agent tell him he wouldn’t get his fruit snacks this afternoon.”

An anonymous source within the White House later revealed Biden was ordered to sit in the “Time Out” chair in the corner of the Lincoln Bedroom before his wife, Jill, directed him to apologize to the Secret Service agent.

At publishing time, White House staff had been urgently called to the Oval Office after President Biden was found scribbling on the walls with a Sharpie.

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