China’s dictator said he was actually a little jealous he hadn’t thought of some of Wolf’s ideas himself.
“He has some pretty great ideas — stopping people from opening their stores; ordering people not to buy seeds — they can’t even plant their own food now! We hadn’t even thought of some of these innovative approaches,” the Communist president said. “We’re always looking for more ways to oppress people, and we were really inspired by Wolf’s approach.”
The governor’s office issued a list of businesses that must close their physical operations. They include lawn and garden stores that sell seeds and specialty food stores. Liver pate is a speciality food often called Foie gras but its still liver paste. For the record, food is essential to stay alive but Wolf closed a lot of food stores.
The government of China quickly offered Governor Wolf a consulting position with the Communist Party of China, which he has accepted.
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