Biden said he was never going to leave Ireland, a pledge millions of American citizens wished would be true. All speeches given in Ireland by Biden, though thoroughly unintelligible to English speakers, were clearly heard by Semus O’Reardon and his fellow drunk Irishmen.
“Gifted orator, the man is,” said Paddy Devitt. “Understood every word of it, I did. He told a beautiful story of his childhood in Ireland, with his good friend Corned Beef Pop.”
Conservative media pundits who thought Biden’s tour of Ireland was a disaster due to several verbal gaffes and nonsensical statements but a group of intoxicated Irishmen released a statement saying they were able to understand every word of what Biden said.
“Let’s hoist a few for Old Joe finally leaving us” said another anonymous drinker.
“That Biden fella sure can spin a good yarn, don’t ya know?” said Seamus O’Reardon after finishing his seventh pint of Guinness before lunch. “I know he catches a lot of flack for not bein’ able t’speak clearly and all, but I’ve never heard such perfect pronunciation of our old traditional Connacht Irish dialect. T’was just the way me dear old mother would speak when she was three sheets t’ the wind every marnin’!”
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